Why have you forgotten me My God?  Why have you forsaken my heart?  Why have you asked me to carry this burden alone?

Before my eyes you place all things.  Yet my hands cannot reach them. My heart cannot feel them.  And my soul is empty without them.   With one fatal blow after another, I am mocked, by your own law.  Have I offended thee my Father?  Have I been cast out of your arms?

And do I seek alone for myself?  Is not my desire to give one love?  Is not my wish pure in your eyes?  Have I not asked only to be in the graces of my family?  Have I not hoped only to be their warrior?  Have I been wrong to seek unity?

Oh Father in Heaven I am destroyed by this edict.  I am reduced to rubble.  My spirit trembles, my faith vanishes, and my heart tears it’s own self from my flesh.

How long will you allow the accuser to have his way with me?  Have I no one to trust my Father?  Why have I been so forsaken?  Why am I so easily forgotten?

All the days of my life I have sought after your law.  I have sought to know the comforts that have been spoken of in times before.  Yet I am alone.  I am not free. And I am without understanding.  I am without an equal, or a companion.

I am starving to death Great Father in sight of your bountiful table!  My thirst has sealed up my throat with its dryness in presence of your great wells of life giving water.  Why have I been so chained to know this agony?

Yet death does not even come to release me from bondage.  I am not even allowed this simple desire to end this life.  And the mighty accuser stalks me in the presence of all the hosts of heaven.  I am utterly despised, and most wretched, in all of the universe.

You have made me the example of pain, sorrow, pity, self-loathing and sin.  You have made me death itself to the only real thing.

Yet I do not turn my face away from your ways Father, I love your law, and I love our family.  I still give of what little I have in me for those who suffer, for those who are ill, for those who are alone.  I still honor our ways, and your heart Father.

May you find the blessings you seek Dad.  For I have nothing but Love in my heart for you, Great Father.  May you put an end to all those who anguish.  And If I be all that remains, then it is so.  May your day of rest come to you.  May you be most cherished in all the world.  May you know peace and serenity, and most of all Father… I pray You feel my love for you even now.  I pray you know that I have never forsaken you.  Father in Heaven, Father of mine, I pray your law never fails, your law of love.

Ryan o0o