Greetings to all seeking the faithful journey in Christ Jesus our Lord and Redeemer.

I who was fallen into darkness, given to the will of my own desires, set aside with my own intelligence, did journey into the places of the absurdly lost.  I was as a sheep, who when hearing the call of my Master did run away and hide, unwilling to give up my own will of self proclamation, trusting more in my own reasoning. And why do such a thing?  Was it that I wished still to prove all others wrong, even my Lord, in the face of thousands of years of testimony given by hundreds of souls and now even into the millions of souls this day?  Did I not also stand as an accuser, pointing out the faults of my fellows, expecting to be righteous to my own mind in the doing so?  How was it i could stand and accuse and not see the very words of my enemy in my own lips?  Nevertheless, this is what it meant to be blinded, and deaf, and though it was done so by my own choosing, He who had redeemed the world through His Own grace did not give up on me, as I had given up on Him.

So this is the testimony of that which cannot be denied in me, nor denied in Millions of souls around the world.  Though I was unwilling to do good, good did still thrive.  Though I was unwilling to see reason, purpose still abounded.  Though I was unwilling to admit the truth of Jesus Christ, did it not make the truth of Jesus Christ untrue.  For all the things I could tell myself, of all my excuses, denials, intellectual arguments, and even personal experience, did none of these matters alter the course of Actual Reality in any way shape or form, but instead only left me in darkness of that mystery for which I would have GLEEFULLY agreed if I had understood the Truth.

For in reality, who am I to discount thousands of years of testimony before my time of that which is Good News?  What part of the spirit was so sick in me that I would scoff at Good News?  Why would I listen to men, and use the false words of men who speak fear and judgement as evidence of the Good News being untrue? Is it not obvious that if I give ear to the words of men, as reason to doubt the words of God, that I have set those men above God as my masters?  Yet in my heart did I hasten to judge even them for their fear-mongering and condemnation, especially when our own Lord spoke about Love and Joy and Peace and Everlasting Life in harmony with ALL things of the universe and Authority over all things given also to us if we simply set aside the reasonings of our flesh and listen to the reasonings of our spirits.  So then I used the words of Love, as evidence of their wrongs, still while denying the Christ (who’s words they are), for I did not follow the Christ, yet stole his words to judge others, proving no one wrong but my own self.  For the words of Love are not the words of Law that were meant for the flesh, but word of Everlasting Life to the Spirit which requires love in order to live.

Ryan