May I speak from experience
for those who speak not?

Emotional Torment

Throw your lash
Upon my back
Into my bones
Dividing skin from skin

What is it you would have me say?
Am I to speak in the voice of the heart
Or keep silence forever at thy will?

Shall I take the cards
And set them down
And surrender unto the wind
Till flesh and blood be taken back
Into the sacred ground?

Was there not ONE day in this life
That reached to the very heavens themselves
Seeking a home
Seeking a place of rest
Seeking a portion once promised
Seeking a mercy for the vacuum in my heart?
Indeed it has been in every day I have cried unto thee!

For the path of the warrior leads to ruin
Even upon the self
And the path of the prophet leads to ruin

And the path of the peacemaker leads to ruin

And the path of the lawgiver leads to ruin

And the path of the artist leads to ruin

And the path of the progenitor leads to ruin

And the path of the voice, the reporter, the council, the help, leads to ruin

And the path of the community spirit leads to ruin

And the path of the rebel spirit leads to ruin

And the path of the giver leads to ruin

And the path of the taker leads to ruin

And the path of the virgin flesh leads to isolation and ruin

And the path of the romantic body leads to isolation and ruin

And the path of the living leads to ruin
Most assuredly upon the self
And the path of the dead is done

How does one be tested
Who stands over and over
After the next beating
All the while knowing
That the game cannot be won at all?

Oh and that this Love and Light
Baring no depth or validity or experiential concrete
Does bring about such great ruin

And that this Solidarity and Darkness
Baring no responsibility or respect or equality
Does bring about such great ruin

And how then is it that to whatever I assure my hand in commitment
Does then itself unwind from us all?
Whereas if instead folly be my road
It also does unwind?

When ALL that does bring comfort in such tormenting times
Slowly dwindles into nothingness…
Knowing not even the warmth
Leaving the remnants of song and food and drink
Without meaning anymore
Leaving the bones aching
The heart at great peril in uncharted darkness
And the spirit without direction

And to a great horror as to witness the further torment of others
Because of such a thing as my own LIFE!!!

Better for me to be a dullard
And ignorant and stupid and without
Wandering in my own selfish idiocracy

For there is no purpose to talent without tools
And no purpose to life without opportunity
And no purpose to effort without result
And no purpose to love without the receiving of love
Or the giving of it

When I stand upon an earth
Declaring with stunning exactitude
My intentions for harmonious worship
Of all that is good
And yet all that is HEARD
Is indeed the direct opposite
To which then I carry the forthcoming accusations…

What then is there left to do?

Fire has burned my sky
Yet I still breath the hot air
Storms have buried those I love
Even while they still live

Yet still do I stare into the vast nothingness
Hoping and praying there is One who lives forever
In joy

My sorrow is beyond me
Lingering with me all the days of my life
Between Infinite and Divine

Ryan o0o

All Words and Images (unless otherwise noted)
Copyright © 2014 Ryan Ranney & Colleen Ranney – Ranney Studios
“the Bridge” Painting/Image ©2009 Ranney Studios
+Ryan-Ranney – +Ranney-Studios &colleencranney &RyanRanney
All Rights Reserved